Why do we do what we do?

Sorry for the gap, I was going to try and keep in order, but that means I write and do not publish, and it does not work.

I was chatting to someone about church, both of us had had recent bad experiences of church and both of us knew that this was the case with the other. We were walking into a service, discussing the fact that church had problems because it contained people with problems, people like ourselves, but we still did not understand really why churches did some of the things that they did. I said why can't churches just give people what they want, would it not be so difficult. The people walking in behind us, who I did not know, agreed loudly.

Now I know church is not about giving people what they want, in fact in a world of me culture, the church should be distinctively different. Asserting the absoluteness and immediacy of God who has a right to expect more from us than simply me, me, me. However, sometimes what we do in church puzzles me, and this is not just about the old style church, but also an issue with the most modern of churches. We throw out one set of incomprehensible songs which no one can fully understand and replace it with another set of songs, where we again ask what does that mean. Is it simply that every generation must bequeath to the next generation music and words that the next generation can "not get," so that they can replace it with another set for the generation to come to rebel against world without end?

We try to do things either because our tradition dictates it or because we want to get other people into church. Therefore we accept church which does not work for us, and really does not work for God. Do we think that He gets pleasure from watching us squirm? My view is that church that works for us, is likely to work for other people like us, and actually whether we like it or not the people outside of the church have more in common with us than we often admit.
This is not to say that we do not need to demolish a few barriers. Services should be user friendly, you should not need to be a theologian to understand the sermon, be in a band to be able to participate in the worship or be psychic to be able to work out what we are supposed to do next. If for some reason which I have never worked out why we have to stand when the offering is brought to the front, we might as well tell people that they need to stand and then sit down afterwards so they do not feel silly - and it might be worth explaining why we do it so that they understand. If we do not know why we do it, except that we always do it, then it may be time to start asking ourselves whether we should be doing it at all.

There is this idea that deep down we all just want to be loved, even psychotic murders are just asking for love in a dysfunctional way. I'm not personally entirely convinced by this approach, but we were created by love for love - and therefore we should not be surprised if this finds an echo in all of us.

Jesus summed up the law in love God and love everyone. (well more our neighbours, those around us, love is meant to be something that lives and does, rather than just a feeling). Love really matters, and yet we get so involved in so much that does not matter. So much of what we do, because simply what we do. We do it not because we love, but because we ought. Rather than discovering freedom in Christ, we discover an empty formalism. We can say all the right words, do all the right actions, and yet if are hearts are not filled with love for God and for each other, we are just a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Paul even comments about giving all I possess to the poor but if I do not have love, it is all just a waste of time. (1 Cor 13) the problem is that it is so much easier to go through the motions than it is to really be changed. It is easier to change our actions than it is to change our hearts.

I really want to emphasise here that I'm not attacking any particular way of doing Christianity or judging anyone. I have seen liturgies that leaped with life and expectation, and I have seen supposedly lively services that seemed to just go around in circles that did not go anywhere near God.

Churches would be transformed overnight if we could just learn to love, really love, but the problem is that there is no love school we can attend. "I went to Love School and suddenly all those people that I could never get on with I just wanted to love and to hug." The idea of some magic love potion that makes us love all that we look upon is just a Midsummer Night's Dream. Love is hard work. Our concept of love is blown. When we think of love we tend to think of soppy romance and a general softness, we do not think of a hard cross and hard nails hammered into raw human flesh. Perhaps that is understandable, but love is not the soft option.

It is so easy to love the masses in some vague way, but when the masses become individuals with problems and issues, that cause us problems and issues then it is not so easy. Sometimes we desire to see the lost in the Kingdom, not primarily because we want them but because we are struggling with the saved. It is so easy to love the people we do not know in the street than it is to love the different people we face in church every week. And it is so much easier to love the people we meet every week if we keep a safe and comfortable distance from them.

Yet the problem is that we were created for intimacy and if we do not discover it in God and in positive means, we will be vulnerable to the temptations of the false intimacies that are just a click away. We voluntarily deceive ourselves, but it is so much easier than trust.

The problem is we have a fickle love, we try to love people, but then we really discover what people are like and we then struggle to be able to love them. Such knowledge and rejection breeds barriers. "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" well the book concludes, "Because it is all I have."

Love is about taking risks, it is about dealing with issues and working through them together. It is not about keeping quiet and not making a fuss. Often church does not work because like the Emperor's New Clothes we are afraid to tell the truth. The church is not always the best at hearing criticism, and some of the criticism is not always delivered in a loving manner. However unless we speak with and listen to one another, and unless we pray and hear what God wants, then we can end up doing some very silly things.

What we really need to do is keep our eyes on Jesus, but that means that we need to keep our eyes on each other, and how we can love and serve one another, as Christ has loved and served us.